When love doesn’t have to hurt

If love is truly not built on reciprocity

Then I hope my love gave you

What you needed.

I hope you took what you needed

And learned how to live better,

See better,

Do better.

Even if a part of me still screams and grieves—

Because that love should have been mine.

But it never would have been.

It never could have been.

You needed a different kind of love

To keep moving forward.

For that part of your becoming,

I am grateful to have been present—

Even when it cost me heartache.

I am no saint, nor did I get it all right but there is a silent wishing inside of me.

There is a strange solace in hoping,

And in some small, quiet knowing.

That maybe you’ll reach out

In the middle of the night

And cover her without being asked—

Because you remember

What it feels like

To be left cold.

That you’ll pause at the edge of yourself,

When you feel yourself slipping and you

Interrupt old habits,

That you choose gentleness

Over retreat and anger.

That you’ll hold her hand

Not to steady yourself,

But to finally stay.

And tell her she’s beautiful

Until she learns to believe it too.

I hope your heart softened a little with me.

That the world feels

A little less terrifying now.

And that you learned

Love doesn’t have to hurt.