The Ache of Everything

Sometimes you meet someone and it’s not fireworks or molten flowing lava. It’s not singing in the streets or dancing in the rain. 

Sometimes it’s “why can’t I stay away from this person?” Or why the sparkle in their eye or the particular sound of their laughter catches something in your heart, even for a fleeting second you recognize them entirely. But because we are a polite society, we let it go. We attribute it to some coincidence or we are just tired that day. 

But you. You were the hitch in my breath, the quiet curiosity that built and built until I was ready to explode. Every interaction, moment of laughter or experience shared wiped the grime from my eyes until I woke up one day and saw you. I can’t quite pin down how many lives I’ve loved you in or held your hand but I know there are too many to count because I feel them in my soul. 

You spoke to me, touched me, listened to me, shared with me in ways that made my soul ache. Not because it was lacking but because it was everything we have both been searching for our entire lives. 

Your love inspires. It magnifies. It blows the lid off of all the small, societal based plans and it guides my hand as I reach for the stars. I was already reaching, to be clear, but having your hand next to mine intertwined was the most reassuring feeling in existence. 

Your love challenges and pushes me to be better. It asks hard questions and demands authenticity. It’s really easy to fall back in love with myself looking through your genuine lenses because it’s just that. It strips away all masks and layers and it lays me bare and raw and says wow.. you are the most wonderful and beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I hope to do this until the end of time. 

You deserve a love that screams your names from the mountains. That saddles up beside you on every adventure, every plan, every mistake and every success. You deserve a love that sees your frustration and sadness and holds you while you feel it. You deserve a crazy Tuesday night of karaoke and car make outs. 

It may not be me, but I send vibrations and light out for you in hopes that you are truly living that existence and you finally stop running from yourself because you deserve the world.